Monday, July 30, 2007


New York City Whoohoo!!

Natsumi and I were bumped up to executive class for the worst leg of the flight which is from Here to Toronto.

Flying into New York is really amazing. These are photos that Natsumi took. I love that the building look like they are growing out of the earth like giant crystals in everywhich direction.

Elaine had stayed at a boutique hotel once that was clean, affordable and cute. Natsumi and I love it. The front desk has this guy working there that is so odd he seems fictional. He talks super slow with a slured lilt, it's very hard to describe. He seems as though he can only exists in the hotel and if he were to leave he'd just turn into a poof of smoke.

Art art...everywhere you look there is something someone has made that is beautiful.

Beautiful sunsets and streets.

....and hamburgers

This here is a photo of Jenny and Karl. They live in New York and they know where the best hamburgers are.

This is Milan. I met Karl and Milan in Prague about ten years ago with thier friend Bobby. I was in a cafe with some friends and we thought that they were giving us dirty looks. Later that evening after we were good and drunk we ran into Karl and Milan (was Bobby there?) on the street in another part of Prague and accused them of giving us dirty looks, they in turn said that we were giving them dirty looks. So we all decided to go out and have more beer. Why fight when you can have beer? And there folks is the reason that Czechs are run the risk of having your beer spill if you try to throw punches.

Natsumi is beautiful even while eating a hamburger the size of her head.

We wore the same shoes one day and told people who commented that we were in a dance troupe.

More beautiful buildings everywhere we looked.

.....And Breakfast.

This is the interior of a synagogue. Doesn't it just make you want to convert? I feel that way everytime I visit a historical holy place with such amazing love in the architecture. I once sat through an entire Sunday service in Prague just so I could stare out of a broken window.

Here is a little piece of New York that is more East Van then East Van. Kitten posters and fake wood pannel walls!? The only thing missing is a neckerchief.

The best pear Chocolate turnovers EVER sold here.

We ate really well, had lovely coffee and walked like we were trying to get to the ends of the earth. New York I love you, but I think I love you best as a visitor. It's a tough town and when you thank people they don't always know what to do with it. I think it's manage to strengthen my spine and harden me just enough to keep things interesting. I think I need to go back at least two more times to become as tough as I'd like to be.

I miss living in a more fluid and dense city sometimes. I like that no one really cares what you are doing in New York. You can wear a panda bear suit and no one would ask why. I'm still at odds with Vancouver at times, and am too negative about it as a whole although there are parts of it that I love. Anyhow, it was nice to use the sidewalks for walking for four days.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


I have steak club pictures ready to post, and I started a steak club blog....but I can't log onto the steak club blog to post the pictures! So Perhaps I will do it here.

But first are wedding pictures as Elaine has requested....thanks for reading my blog Elaine! Then there will be photo's from New York.

There was the Canucks mascot..........

......and an ape.

....Ape and....


And an ape with a pretty girl.

Here are two more pretty girls.

And no pictures of the bride and groom, which is unfortunate because they were smashing. Just apes, mascot and pretty girls.

Not spellchecking, going to bed, thanks for reading.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Still to come

1) Indian wedding like no other. Finn (canuck mascot...for real) + Groom's brother in a gorilla costume + groom's brothers together give speech entirely out of 80's love song lyrics + Bride in outfit inspired by pocahontas = sad Italians and the craziest wedding EVER.

2) ultimate steak club, there are no words only pictures to come.


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Lucky me

So Elaine has been accused by some of puting a few of her ex-boyfriends into pigeon holes. I support the act of puting mean people into any kind of hole, but apparently pigeons don't want to share theirs with jerks.

How do I know this? I walked beneath an awning around the corner from my apartment and a pigeon shat on me. It was warm and made a sploosh sound on the back of my neck. I looked up and the little fucker was leering at me, I swear it. It's ass said fuck you and it's eyes said keep your hands off my hole and quit sticking people in it.

I said immediately after I was used as a toilet "shit.....literally" I like that I got to use literally correctly.

I figure I was pretty lucky to have been so close to home and on the way back rather than out. Life is good.

Pictures of Steak night to follow....or I might just create a steak club blog where we can store images of steaks and their eaters.


Saturday, July 07, 2007

Nod to Elaine Corden and Trifective

I had to publish the post below that I stole from the Trifective blog. Elaine wrote this with the belief that only the east van manchild is depicted in each category, but I know a lot of my friends in Toronto (including myself when I lived in Toronto) have dated guys that fall squarly in each description.

I laughed when I read it and came to the realization that funny is only funny when it's at someone elses expense.


Dating in our time

Further to my post below, complaining about how I can't get a date, allow me to draw you a little portrait of the dating landscape in East Van. No, you don't have to deal with impossibly square dudes, or dudes who want to go to the Roxy, or dudes who don't read, or dudes with shitty record collections but its still ugly.

Most of my girlfriends are married or in serious relationships, but there also lots that are inexplicably single- brilliant, hot, talented funny women who somehow just end up dating wieners. After extensive research, interviews and my own field studies I've come up with a primer on specific types that haunt mount pleasant. Should you go on some sort of EV make-out safari, be sure to bring this along with you.

The Carrbon Copy
Six foot plus and beardier than ZZ-top, this Emily Carr student is likely to be found at a electro-dance party or at a backroom art show where most of the work is, like, panda heads drawn on people. Usually surrounded by a pack of adoring young girls, this kid is the star of his college, and has likely had a couple shows of his own, usually involving neon abstracts, "sound collage" or some fusion of the two ("every note frequency corresponds to a colour" he'll inform you). Yes, the Carrbon copy and his hot, lithe body are minor constellations, glittering with youthful idealism and broad shoulders. You'll feel a little intimidated by all the American Apparel-glad starlets around him, but guess what? The Carrbon Copy is into *you*. He's asked you're friends if your single. He likes older women, you see. He'll light your cigarettes and ignore everyone else around for the whole night. You'll talk art and culture and even though he sounds a bit ridiculous talking "post" and "parallax" that, you'll still kind of want to french him, because he's young and hot. Proceed with caution: the Carrbon Copy is fun for a night but next week there will be some other woman who catches his fancy, and you'll feel stupid for having a crush on a 23 year-old.

The Emosogynist
You almost feel sorry for this guy. He grew up in some fuck-nowhere town and moved here after college. He still rates U2 and only came around on the gay marriage issue because of Keith and David on "Six Feet Under". He's in the big city now, though, and free-to-be-me styles, he's gone all indie rock- which means a nice haircut and wearing girls jeans and playing in a band that sounds like, hmmm, let's say... Modest Mouse? You probably met him at a Wolf Parade or Arcade Fire show, and after a few cleverly worded exchanges on MySpace, you made a date. The emosogynist will surprise you by paying for drinks, and later surprise you even more when it turns out he's actually not crap in bed. Here's the problem: the Emosogynist, even though he owns L7's first record, still can't quite see you as an equal. It tears him up inside that he wants to fuck someone that's smarter than him, makes him feel like Keith (or David). You'll go see his MOR band, he'll kind of ignore you in that stupid "I invited you but I'm too busy to say hi because that would mean you're my girlfriend" way that dudes in bands do. Every move you make will be interpreted by the Emosogynist as some play to make him your husband so you can start popping out babies, because, where he grew up, that's what girls do. Don't waste your time with the Emosogynist. He basically wants to marry his mother.

The Keirketaard
You can find this dude pretty much at any coffeeshop or dive bar on the East Side. He'll be the one in the corner, reading Camus or some shit that blows your mind its so clever. You;ll pick up that he's a all world-weary and sad, and he'll pick up that from you, and being a girl, you'll want to take care of this broken bird and nurse him back to health. And they'll be flashes of hope: he'll be funny ina bitter, sarcastic way, sexy as hell and kind of a broken genius. Just lying on the floor listening to Mingus with this dude will feel like the heaviest shit ever. When you finally hook-up (which will take forever, cause dude has no game except being intense), it will be like sleeping with a Dostoevsky novel. This guy is awesome- it's you and him against the world, happy only when you're together. Problem: you're really only allowed to be happy together. He's like the reverse of Vidal Sasoon: if you don't feel bad, he doesn't feel good. Avoid for obvious reasons: don't try to "stick it out" till he gets happy. It ain't gonna happen (except years later, when you see him all happy with some impossibly cute girl, and you kind of die inside).

The Chakra Con
A difficult beast to identify, the Chakra Con seems like the most enlightened character you'll ever meet. He's read Jung and the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and believes in magic and meditation without seeming like a waxy fruitcake. He can make jokes and hang bro-styles with the best of 'em, but he also has a sincere streak that says" hey dudes, I don't care if irony is cool, I'm comfortable enough to be myself". Initially intoxicating, the Chakra Con will probably cry in front of you in the first month, or force feed you his poetry, but instead of losing your ladyboner, you'll think "wow, he really *is* secure with himself!" And then.... it will start with little digs about your "discomfort with your body" and progress further into him using the language of spirituality to undermine you-- your consumption of mainstream media, your penchant for diet coke- they're totally bad for your spirit. He's kind of like the new-age equivalent of an evangelical Christian. It will end when he brow beats you into confessing something really vulnerable about yourself, and he decides thats "unhealthy" and dumps you. You will simultaneously feel better and worse about it when you realize you fell for someone who poetry raped you.

The Dog What Done Shat on the Rug
So named because he's so adorable you can't stay mad at him, this mainstay is pretty much perma-stoned and perma-broke. At first, it will seem cute, and you will find the two bohemians living in poverty thing charming, but be assured it wears off quickly. Hallmarks of TDWDSOTR include standing you up cause he totally forgot and was just, like, jamming with his bros, drinking your beer, "borrowing" your money and all general crimes committed by potheads. This can end one of two ways- his band will actually go somewhere, and he'll dump you for someone hotter, or you'll look at your negative bank account one day and call it a day (who am I kidding- it's always the former).

The Funnest Guy Ever
He's usually an artist or photographer, and you'll be drawn to him because he's so damn charming and FUN. And hot. He's the dude who will flirt with your friends just enough to make you feel self-satisfied, who'll buy rounds, who wants to go play badminton at the beach at three a.m. He's funny and adventurous and always surprising you. Unfortunately, he's also bi-polar. Or an alcoholic. Or a cokehead. Or he hits women. Or all four! Either way,someone ends up in the hospital.

The Guy You Can't Get it Up For
Treats you well, makes romantic gestures like mix-tapes and flowers. Makes you cringe, basically.

Pathologically Anti-Establishment Guy
A sort of hybrid of the Chakra Con and the Kierketaard, this guy has no moral compass of his own, so he's just down on everything. People who succeed are sell-outs, people who like to dress nicely are materialistic but people who want to drink sailboats in the park are a-ok. This is the guy who hates every paper in town but would bend over backwards for some column inches in it. At first it seems cool that he hates everything you hate, but then you realize he just hates himself and doesn't want to see anyone happy. Toxic. Possibly the easiest to dump.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy is warm

Bi-polar bears of the world unite! Maybe have some tea with a friend and cheer up.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Steak, Tea and Happy

If you got the sense that I've been lonely, sad or were right. So I decided to start doing, thinking and eating things that make me happy.

Here are the steaks that Jeff at Aurora Bistro will be butchering for Steak Club on Monday night. Suddenly sadness is in the rear view mirror and I'm on the road to happy at at least 200 clicks. Woohoo!

Monday, July 02, 2007

If I were

If I were an inanimate object I would be a sailboat on the horizon.