Saturday, May 27, 2006

Cat burglars

It's been a while, is anyone still out there? I wouldn't blame you for giving up on me. I've almost given up on myself. Between work and trying to get some sleep I'm turning into a big ol' snore. I can't complain though. The store is doing really well, I'm getting some exercise and enjoying my time with Dane. I have been having weird dreams lately though. Like the one where I was in Iceland climbing up a snow covered mountain ridge in search of a school. When I got to the school I went looking for the shop that it housed which carried Nudie jeans because I wanted to see if they were stocked, because I was having so much trouble getting my re-orders. Then the Vikings were after me so I had to hide in a hand carved coffin to escape, except that the coffin was too short so I had to take out the foot pillow so I would fit. Anyway, the good news is that I got into the coffin before the Viking found me and then woke up.

In the photo above you can't really see the Mexican stand off happening between my friend Andie and a woman in a silver tutu.

I went to see Andie's band play some benefit or other that turned out to be not a benefit at all but a show some musicians were putting on to benefit themselves. It's the dawn of a new era where musicians are having "benefits" instead of shows.

The woman in the tutu was Australian which totally explained the whole quirky awkward thing. Apparently we got there too late to see the guy that painted a huge circle with his ass. I kid you not, that's how bored the kids out here bored that they strap contraptions onto their rear ends so that they can jam paintbrushes into their ass holes and twirl around on paper making circles. I wasn't sorry that I missed that. I was however happy to see Andie perform my two favourite songs 'Elvis Stojko' and 'Louis Riel'. Andie's boyfriend Reggie was in Victoria playing a show with his band, and when he returned and heard about the ass hole painting and he decided that he never ever would have the right to complain to Andie about having a bad gig ever again. We've all seen asshole's paint, but never so literally.

On another occasion After a night out Dane and I came home to find a Cat burglar wandering around our house.

We weren't scared though, don't worry. Our neighbour's cat walks along the building ledge and visits. When she made her way out I poked my head out of the window and lo and behold I found Elaine hanging out her window.

Elaine got devil eyes from my flash.

Her cat Jim wasn't too impressed with the kitten and the kitten was really unhappy to find Jim at her next stop. I could hear them hissing at one another. In these photo's you can see our Lark sign...that's how close to work we live.

Eventually adventure kitty burglar went home but continued to stare at me.

This is a photo of the inlet eight blocks north of where we live, it leads to the ocean. It's beautiful at this time of day right before sunset. You can see all of the rickety boats floating around. People live in those boats...which sounds romantic, but it's actually really gross. They throw garbage and empty septic tanks into the water. It's not as gross as lake Ontario, but I wouldn't swim in it. The sad part is that it makes its way out to the ocean, although I guess that whales and dolphin's relieve themselves into the water, so I'm not sure if human waste is much worse.

And here is Isabella our beetle. We have to sell her which is unfortunate since Dane has put a lot of love into it. We've named her after Isabella rosallini, isn't she pretty!? We had her value assessed and found out that she is worth $5,500, but we are willing to part with her for $4000 to someone who would take good care of her. There is a guy that wants to buy her for parts, but we are pretty attached to it/her and would rather see her loved then cannibalized. Anyone want to buy a car?

I know that I promised to talk about this neighbourhood and tell you about all of the eccentrics and characters. I will, don't worry.

Saturday, May 13, 2006


I've come to realize that having a blog is a lot of work and the only people that can write really interesting blogs are people who write about very specific interests, people who are traveling, WRITERS (!), and people with jobs that allow them to write about the people that they deal with. I fall into none of those categories, but that don't stop me!

Here is the view I see pretty much everyday. It's the window display at the shop...I guess that's obvious. Later I'll give you all a description of what I see outside of the shop. It's been a topic on my mind for some time...but it needs to be addressed diplomaticaly and with care. For now I'll start with the view I have from my perch behind the sales desk.

If the building across the street weren't there I'd get to see the mountains, the only people in this town that get to demolish buildings, signs or other obstructions are politicians....they run the place with red tape and beaurocracy. Communist Russia could have learned a thing or two, you let them smoke pot and then they are too stoned to revolt (complain yes, revolt no) only makes people belligerent afterlife.

To be honest I enjoy being able to see over my Empire day in and day out. I sweep these floors, I steam the clothes, I am nice to people. I share this mighty expanding Empire with Dane; he watches over our dominion with great care and sees that it runs smoothly and that our doors stay open. We are having fun, it's fashion and it's silly, but it's less silly then film. In film every little thing becomes life or death and is very serious. In fashion everyone knows that it ain't world peace and that the bottom line is what's life or death.

Working here has changed some of my preconceptions about Vancouver. (Look at me stealing 's number idea)

1) Not ALL people wear track pants everywhere all of the time, in fact a lot of people have really great style.

2)Not everyone smokes pot..I know it surprised me too.

3)People are friendly on a deeper level, not superficially like I first thought.

4)A lot of people do leave their homes and go to events and parties...They aren't all hermits.

There are more but I'm starting to bore myself.

Maybe it's the sunshine that's taken away my melancholy. Whatever it is it's nice to be enjoying Vancouver again.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


I've started writing a story and it's been keeping my few spare moments pretty busy. I was thinking of publishing it here, but I'm still feeling insecure about it. It's possible that it's just more self indulgent drivel. So I'll tell you a real life story.

Yesterday there was a car accident on 8th at the corner of Main. I was upstairs at the time that I heard the crash and didn't think much of it because there are accidents out there almost daily. It's the vortex of bad driving on 8th between the ally by the shop and Main. People do some of the most idiotic things I've ever seen and they drive fast......Let alone fast for Vancouver. Seriously, people rarely even hit the speed limit out here (Dane and I got a car recently and I've been re-introduced to Vancouver driving). Finally I decided to look out the window to see what was going on. There were two cars that met nose to nose on our side of the street. It looked like they were both trying to get into the same spot and they hit on maybe a 45 degree angle. One car was a convertible and I could see that there was a guy in there looking stunned and shaking his head. A small crowd had gathered and were talking to him, everyone was on cell phones and Elaine was taking some photo's incase they would need them. I got myself ready to get back to work and headed down stairs. Walking past everyone seemed fine; there was a fire crew throwing dirt on the coolant coming out of the convertible and a fireman was talking to the guy in the car who looked really shaken up. I asked if everyone was o.k. They were so I rounded the corner and got coffees for Dane and I.

On my way back Elaine was helping a girl get her luggage into a cab and the girl was thanking her profusely calling her a lifesaver and an awesome person...all of which is true. After the girl was off and on her way I asked Elaine what the story was. Apparently the girl that got in the cab was leaving Vancouver and going back to Winnipeg forever, she had just broken up with the girl whose car it was and was driving her to the airport. The two had just split after a three year relationship and this was how they had to say good bye.

I was going downtown and Elaine came with me. As we were leaving we walked past the girl with the wrecked car and Elaine asked if she needed anything, she was smoking a cigarette and in tears. We offered her some Valium, she said she couldn't because she's an alcoholic and couldn't take any kind of substances. That felt like the punchline if accidents had punchlines.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Franz Ferdinand, the band not the emperor

This photo is from the Death Cab For Cutie and Franz Ferdinand show I went to on Friday night. My Friend Elaine is a music critic and she was writing a review on the show for the Vancouver Sun...It's like the Toronto Star.....and I got to be her date. Death Cab For Cutie had a really great set, it looked like a sleepy village......Which is quite appropriate. I have a love hate relationship with that band. Some of their songs are really really good and other songs make me wonder if their balls will ever drop.

How pretty is that though?

Franz Ferdinand was really great live. I resisted liking them for at least two years now. I have a problem with people using historical political figures for cool factor. I swear, the next person I see wearing a t-shirt with an image of either Stalin or Mao on it I'll punch. I actually get hot behind my ears and my blood boils when I even think about how many people think it's cool to glorify tyrants that have killed tens of millions of innocent people. I was suspicious that the band Franz Ferdinand was capitalizing on WWI, but then I saw them live and I was like...I want to dance!
So I sat up in the press box (which sounds way more fancy then it was) and bobbed my head to the beat. Another thing I liked about this band is that their pants were skinny and tight! The lead singer wore red sox with black shoes and black pants! In this town men often wear clothes about two sizes too long will it take us to teach them?

None of these photo's are that good, but it's all I got.

Dane lent Elaine his lap top so that she wouldn't have to rush home to write the review in time for her deadline, which incidentally was before the end of the show. So when we finally got it up and running we found out that the press box doesn't have an internet connection so she couldn't e-mail her review in. Half way through the Franz Ferdinand set she managed to make it to the promotions office to use their connection and I waited until the end of the show. The lights came on and the place cleared out and no Elaine. So I made my way out to where the plebs had to watch the show and found how to get backstage to the office. I walked passed tight pants who was talking to Nardwar....o.k, someone explain that guy to me! What is up with that?

I found the office but no Elaine. It seems we missed one another. I didn't have my cell phone on me and eventually we managed to find one another and she was feeling like this:

Apparently her review wasn't very good because the internet connection was failing and we don't have a writing program on that computer....just some kind of note pad thing that didn't want to work for her.

This is Elaine after seeing the photo of herself looking all deflated.

These are some amphibians made out of bread that I saw in a bakery window on the way home....surprise here's a sourdough turtle!