First of all you should know that I was part polar bear, and Al Pacino and I were in love. I'm not talking movies star Al Pacino, I'm talking washed up mob guy Pacino...like one of the characters you'd expect him to play in a New York style mob film. We were walking down a path in a park arm in arm. He was old, sketchy and jobless, I was young and part polar bear.
We turned a corner and he disappeared. I became all polar bear and in a bad predicament. There was a hill with a gate holding back back other polar bears that were ready to be let loose to mate and fight with one another, and I was about to be caught in the fray.
Fortunately I had managed to climb up a small hill behind a tree that had reindeer skulls with antlers attached which created a nice little hiding spot. Further in my favour was that I had a newspaper behind which I could hide. While all of the juvenile polar bears were fighting and f*cking I had the comic section to read and reindeer antlers to look at.
I really didn't want to wake up from this dream! I really felt the feeling of love and I got to be a polar bear!! The colours were all cool blues and the reindeers were camel colours and tundra dirty browns.
....But he looked more like this:
And I was like this:
Sometimes being me is awesome!
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