I was at my Bikram's (I'm always cold okay) yoga class sweating and twisting and I had a weird experience. It was an off night for me, my balance was weak and my mind was tearing around my head in circles. The pose below is normally really easy for me, I've been able to do it since day one no problem.
I've heard some people say that it's hard for them because they get emotional; it apparently opens up your heart chakra, and I've always thought yeah right whatever my ass chakra. When I went into that position last night I got all emotional and even cried a little. Thank god it's so hot that you couldn't tell the tears from the sweat. So here I am sarcastic chakra my ass girl all emotional and one with my heart chakra. Then we go into the pose where you get to lie down and rest ( I really like that one) and I lie there feeling like there is a load of bricks on my chest. Then we go into this pose again (you do everything twice) and I get all emotional again. As we go back into the lying down pose I get all weepy and then all of a sudden I feel exhausted as if I'd been crying for a hundred years. It was a really weird experience, it was loud in my body and my mind. After the next two poses I felt really light and it got quiet in my body and mind.
I wanted to try hot yoga because the damp here gets to your bones, it's worse then -60C in Toronto, and I wanted to be warm all the way through my body. Also I wanted to connect my mind with my body, I was starting to feel inflexible. I guess it's vanity, I just don't want to be one of those old stiff unhealthy people. I want to be flexible and in control of my body as much as possible and no other exercise will give you as much control as yoga does. During my first class I discovered that there are these moments where you're contorted and your whole body is shaking to stay in the pose and you think you're going to fall over and then when you stop thinking for even a moment it's like white light inside of your body, it's quiet, you don't hurt and your breathing is normal and even. I'm hoping that those moments turn into seconds and maybe one day minutes. It's like you're made out of fresh air. I wonder if that's what death is like, being free from your mind and body feeling like you are illuminated from the inside out.
So even though Dane is probably sick of hearing me talk about yoga this, and yoga that, all of the time I swear that this is it for the chakra talk at least. I was just so surprised to be so profoundly affected by something that I thought I was immune to.
1 comment:
I love how you describe your yoga experience -- even the sarcastic side! I can relate to your surprising emotional thingie while in yoga, I've had that happen to me too, I even had to leave the class! But those were hard times back then for me.
About breathing, one thing a yoga instructor once said sounded so beautiful and enlightening: you let the air breathe you.
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